Perfectionism is a relentless taskmaster, driving us to chase an unattainable ideal and leaving us feeling exhausted and never ever good enough. Whether it shows up in our career, relationships, or self-image, the pressure to be perfect or "the best" can paralyze us, preventing us from enjoying life’s simple pleasures. But what if the answer isn’t in a personality overhaul but in small, manageable changes? In this post, I'll share some tiny tools that can help you gently challenge perfectionism and find more peace and joy in your daily life.

Taking the Trait to the Light Side

Your chances of dealing with perfectionism stem from a combination of factors, including your temperament, societal influences, and life experiences.

I like to consider myself a recovering perfectionist. I've worked hard to overcome my tendency toward perfectionistic behaviors, yet I'm still vulnerable to perfectionism, especially during times of stress or when I fall into comparison traps. Because I yam what I yam (💪), it helps me to look at perfectionism not just as a liability, but as a potential asset.

When taken to the Dark Side, perfectionism fueled my eating disorder, caused difficulty in my career, and made it challenging for me to be authentic and vulnerable in relationships.

But how about the Light Side? What if we labeled it as tenacity or conscientiousness instead? Feels different, right? Building awareness around your traits that seem all negative and working to keep them in balance can help you grow and manage life's challenges.

The Peril of the Three P's

If you wrestle with perfectionism, chances are you also wrestle with procrastination and paralysis. These "Three P's" often go together. Let's say you have an assignment coming up that you anticipate will be difficult. Because dealing with perfectionism is exhausting, you may notice that you try to put things off until the last minute.

Or perhaps you struggle with decision-making due to the need to make "the perfect decision." Perfectionists can end up ruminating over options and delaying decisions for so long that they feel completely paralyzed and unable to move forward. They've overloaded their system.

Challenging perfectionism is crucial for boosting your mood, your self-esteem, your productivity, and really, your whole life.

Confused as to how to get started? Don't worry - I got you!

Tiny Tools You Can Start Using Today

1. Adopt Helpful Mantras: Perfectionists are in the habit of engaging in negative self-talk which further ingrains the tendency and regularly depletes self-esteem. Incorporate new, empowering language when you notice the Perfectionist Voice getting loud. Here are some of my favorite mantras: "Done is better than perfect." | "Good enough is good enough for me." | "Progress, not perfection."
2. Celebrate All Outcomes: Get in the habit of purposefully celebrating your process, no matter the outcome. If you know that you tried your best or put a great deal of effort into something, you are allowed to celebrate that, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. This will feel strange initially, as you've conditioned yourself to think that beating yourself up will help you perform better in the future. But that's just not true. Be open to a new way and see how it can help you. The more you celebrate all outcomes, the easier it will become. 
3. Set Time Limits and Revision Limits: Give yourself a set amount of time to complete a task, and then move on, even if it’s not up to your typical standard. (Your standard is not helping you thrive, remember?) Limits encourage efficiency and help prevent you from getting into analysis-paralysis. Also set a limit on how many times you’ll revise or edit a project/task. Trust that your initial efforts are often more than sufficient.
4. Insert Purposeful Imperfections: Where you can afford to, pepper in purposeful mistakes throughout your day. This can help you desensitize to the rigid drive of perfectionism. For example, if you're texting a friend and accidentally send a grammatical error, just don't correct it. Take a moment to pause and observe the discomfort and any associated urges, and then move on. You can even try this with something silly like wearing mismatched socks. Looking for ways to be imperfect may even start to feel fun!
5. Do New Things Often: It's not usually possible to be good at something you don't do much or have never tried. While these experiences are incredibly good for brain health, perfectionists tend to shy away from new things. Give yourself permission to consistently experiment in new, creative endeavors whether it's painting, learning an instrument, or cooking. Much like the above tip, this can also help you desensitize to the perfectionist drive and access "the beginner's mindset" that is so valuable to personal growth.

Letting go of perfectionism helps build you resiliency. Accepting that mistakes and imperfections are a natural part of life, and are actually a requirement for our growth, equips you to handle adversity more effectively and bounce back stronger and more confident than ever before.

Go on, you perfectly imperfect, amazing human! ✌️

 ✨ Josie Munroe, LMFT is a licensed therapist and owner of JosieMunroe.com and Your Sensitive Recovery  As a recovered clinician and Highly Sensitive Person, she loves supporting others on their journeys to form new, empowered relationships with food, their bodies, and their sensitivity. Join the newsletter for a weekly boost of hope and inspiration. You deserve a recovery that works for you! ✨