Being Highly Sensitive is a beautiful thing. But it's hard to live in a culture that doesn't support the trait or fully recognize it for the gift that it is. If you're an HSP, I'm sure you've heard more times than you count: "Toughen up", "Don't take things so personally", "Stop caring so much", or my personal favorite (not 😒)...

"Hurry up."

Whether I'm entering a new place, window shopping, or making a decision, I'm wired to go a little more slowly than your average bear...

and I'll tell you why that's a great thing, and why it's something we could all use.

Pause & Check: An Evolutionary Win

"Pause & check" is both a technique and a tendency of Highly Sensitive People. Essentially, it's a deliberate, yet sometimes subconscious pause taken to assess the situation or environment and respond to any internal and external cues.

Maybe you're an HSP and notice this in yourself. Let's say you enter a new restaurant. You take time to scan what's around you. You take note of the number of patrons; whether there is a line or not. You notice the level of cleanliness, the lighting, and the volume of the music.

You're using your senses to figure out what’s happening, and what your next action is going to be. Perhaps you head for the host station to snag a table. Or maybe you turn right around and leave with a, "Nope!"

When this characteristic occurs in childhood, adults sometimes label the child as shy or scared. But it's very different. You're just doing what you do best: noticing.

And I bet you can see why this is a huge plus for species survival. When you're attuned to the subtleties of the environment, you're given a natural boost in your ability to keep yourself safe. "Pause & Check" in new places and situations may feel unnecessary in this saber-tooth-tiger-less world we currently live in, but it is still incredibly valuable. 

Slower Decisions = Better Decisions

Making decisions can be pretty excruciating for an HSP. With our unique depth of processing and tendency toward risk aversion, our brains excel at identifying all sides of an issue, all possible outcomes, and the potential consequences and results of those outcomes. It's a lot.

Being more cautious and deliberate means our decision-making process is indeed slower. But guess what? HSPs tend to make better decisions because of it.

However, we can be prone to analysis paralysis. I can't tell you how many times I've hoped someone else would just make a decision for me when I feel overstimulated or overwhelmed. (Especially small ones such as what to have for dinner or whether I should do laundry today or wait until the weekend.)

To help combat this propensity, find your sweet spot for how much time you need to make a decision. It's a Goldilocks thing, Too much time and you may push the decision farther and farther out. Too little time, and you'll feel overstimulated by the pressure.

All-in-all, trust yourself and your intuition. I know I can trust my decisions. My ability to pause and check in the decision-making arena serves me and my loved ones well.

Taking Our Time

If we as Highly Sensitive People can add a level of non-judgment to our hyper-awareness, then we create a state of mindfulness. As you undoubtedly know, the benefits of mindfulness are numerous.

In relationships, it can reduce reactivity and enhance communication. In work or schooling, it can improve our problem-solving skills and boost creativity. In our quest for wellness, it can reduce stress and symptoms of anxiety and depression. The list goes on and on.

The benefits of "Pause and Check" go far beyond keeping ourselves safe from harm; though that's nothing to scoff at. When we take our time and when we are thoughtful, everyone benefits.

So the next time you think about telling someone to hurry up, just don't. 😉

 ✨ Josie Munroe, LMFT is a licensed therapist and owner of JosieMunroe.com and Your Sensitive Recovery  As a recovered clinician and Highly Sensitive Person, she loves supporting others on their journeys to form new, empowered relationships with food, their bodies, and their sensitivity. Join the newsletter for a weekly boost of hope and inspiration. You deserve a recovery that works for you! ✨